Sunny weather ... YEA

For the last couple days (except today go figure) it has been nice and warm. Not like normal spring weather. We had fun walking around the track by our apartment.... I was shedding layers and so was Chris, I rolled up my pants because I was just so hot. Alaina wanted to be carried so we took turns carrying her on our shoulders (more of a work out for me than Chris ... my Alaina is four, crazy!) Thought I'd post some cute pictures from our adventues in the sun.

We went to Greenhorn the same day and fed the ducks and geese. Alaina gets very VERY upset when the "eagles" translation seaguls were stealing the bread from the ducks. She is such a character! Hope you enjoy the pictures!






Like I said I got so hot I rolled up my pants ... looking like a dork but desperate times call for desperate measures - right?


Daddy giving Alaina a boost ...... so cute!!!

Life .... and all it comes with

I haven't posted in sometime now ..... things have been well, rough. Over the last couple months I have relapsed badly into my ED and had to be sent to a hospital for 10 days. They didn't know how to handle someone with an eating disorder and it was really hard to try to ignore their comments. I am home now thank goodness! It was like placing a bandage over a dam that has over the years developed such a large hole that the bandage will only serve its purpose for so long before it to gets washed away.....

My dear grandpa passed away early yesterday morning. My mom called me at 4:30 in the morning and I went to stay with her. It is a bittersweet feeling. I have not seen my grandpa for years and the last time I did he wasn't doing well. He suffered from dementia. He held on for so long- it was his time to go and thank god it was peacefully in his sleep. He lived a long good life with a wife who dearly loved him and a family who loved him. He was such a character! I like remembering grandpa for who he truly was. He would meow and look around and say "Where's the kitty?" and we would go searching for the lost kitty. What is engraved in my mind is what he always would say to his grandchildren : "Guess what?" and we would reply GRANDPA LOVES US! And he would say "that's right!" That's the grandpa I remember - the one who stopped someone to speak to them in Spanish - he loved his egg sandwich's and his bacon. As he told my little brother one time "I sure hope there is bacon in Heaven." Well grandpa I sure hope there is bacon too and I know how happy you must feel to be with your family up in heaven - with all your memories that were taken away from you here on earth. Guess what Grandpa - WE ALL LOVE YOU!

Work work and yup more work

BLAH! Dang I have had no days off for the last week and a half ..... it has been crazy. One of the girls that I work with found out she is pregnant ( totally sympathetic because of the sickness) but with that said I have had to cover all of her shifts. Which is exhausting! Today I worked my schedule and got off at 1:30 but I have to go back at 5 and stay until closing.

I am getting frustrated! While working is exhausting I have to admit sometimes I would rather be there than be at home .... because it is just stressful as well. Eating has been almost non-existent lately. Which raises the tension in the apartment. Chris, who is worried about me and my health has been trying to get me to eat and I just get angry.

Things are rough right now. I am trying to find a treatment center to enter but because I only have Medi-Cal no one will take me and the county isn't willing to make the co-payment for the hospital I was placed in before so I am in a catch 22. Can't eat ---- cant get treatment. Life, huh.